Shan's Thoughts on Beauty

Today I found myself cleaning. In the process, I found some very interesting things. I want to share one, but as a reader you are not allowed to think less of me in any way. Also, please don't feel obligated to make any sort of comment. This is not a contest to see how many compliments I can receive. It is merely an insane gesture to let you all know a little more about me. Fasten your seat belts, it may be a bumpy ride.
So I found this little scrap of paper that I am pretty sure I wrote during Sacrement meeting one day freshmen year.
"There are so many beautiful people in the world. But whether or not they are beautiful depends purely on the person observing. For the most part, people have pretty much the same opinion. A beauty is a beauty. Then there are the sub par individuals who are beautiful because someone loves them. But back to the regular beautiful people. What makes them so beautiful? There are a million different traits tht combine to make a masterpiece; the curve of the neck, the line of the nose, the shape of the eyes. All of these things can be different but for some reason come together into perfection. There are those who possess a few of these. They seem to have one or two of these traits that give them the air of almost being a beauty, but not quite. They do seem to gain the rest when someone loves them so much that they become the most beautiful girl in the world. Its almost like the saving grace of Christ, bringing as much the rest of the way as needed."
"I have always wanted to be one of those girls. When I was younger, I knew I would never be beautiful. Even at a young age when I was skin and bones I knew that the curve of my neck and the line of my nose weren't it. But I wanted to be that girl that was unexplainably attractive. For some reason she had something. Something that couldn't be named. For some reason she was mysterious and beautiful. I don't know if I've achieved this. I've been told by the only two people I've ever mentioned it to, that I have. But they were good friends, why would they crush me? It doesn't really matter. The truth is, I'll never be satisfied. I say that, but I need to learn to be satisfied. To love me. Maybe someday."
Why I shared? I don't know. But I hope you learned something.

Spring Break!

Yay! Spring Break is finally here! This means that I have approximately seven weeks until I graduate. That is almost too hard to comprehend. Am I really that close to the end? I was reflecting on my college career resently. I've lived in six differently places in Ames, had nine different roommates, friends have come and gone, too many first dates, one real bf and a cat later and I am feeling pretty good. College is suppose to be the best years of your life. I'm not really sure about this, ask me again in ten years.

I act like I am done with college but I still have a few hills to get over. I started my second student teaching placement. Sixth graders. I'll either love them or hate them. Don't ask, its too soon to tell. Within the first week, I have already had some ups and downs. But Spring break couldn't have come at a better time.

The picture above is from K's house. We visited some friends and the parents and katy last weekend. I always enjoying visiting k's home base. After this particular picture kyle and I were dancing around the livingroom, listening to some records. Kyle knew all the words and we both laughed as he sang and I tried to dance. Good times. Sometimes a little break is all you really need.

Valentine's Day!

Kyle has done it again! Kyle gave me a three day Valentine this year. On Wednesday, Kyle took us to our new favorite resturant, Red Lobster. He had to work till close on Thursday, so this was a nice surprise to celebrate Valentine's Day a day early. At dinner he informed me that I would be receiving Valentines in three phases. Obviously, dinner was the first phase and I was pretty dang excited for the second and third phases.
The second phase was Kyle showing up at my elementary school with a beautiful bouquet of Lilies. I wasn't able to see him, but a coworker bombarded me at lunch and said that I needed to be very nice to my boyfriend. She proceeded to tell me that the most gorgeous bouquet was sitting on my desk. I gotta say I was more than a little surprised. Sure, maybe he'd get me flowers, but I never expected the display I saw waiting for me. I had lots of visitors that day who came in to check out my beautiful flowers. My favorite visitor was a janitor. He looks, and I am not even joking, just like Santa Clause and I have enjoyed chatting with him on several occasions. He walked in and said, "Wow, I guess he really likes you!"
The third phase came the next day at dinner. There had been some things at Kyle's apartment that he had told me not to look at. So I did a great job at averting my gaze, but at one point we were on the way out and there was this big red basket sitting near the door. I looked at it and blatantly asked what was with the basket. Oops, not suppose to see that. The basket was part of the gift as seen above. It was filled with hot chocolate mixes (my favorite), mint herbal tea(love it), a couple headbands(can't live without them), and the first season of Scrubs, which if you haven't seen it, go watch it...hilarious.
I told him after all this, that I didn't need another Valentine's Day gift for the rest of my life. What did I get him? A t-shirt of his favorite band, Anberlin. :) Haha! I love you, k!

Update!

My life feels very full right now and I am loving it. I seem to thrive when I am staying busy. I feel happy and excited but anxious about the future. I am currently student teaching, and I am having the most fun I have ever had. I love this. I am in a special education room for grades k-4. I love to teach and learn. I have fallen in love with so many of my sweet little guys. I can't wait to be doing this full time and actually get paid for doing it. Right now I teach from about 8-4 then go to work from 5-8. Add in workout time and a shower and I am pretty much ready to go to bed. This schedule works well, but my two closest pals, K and Ruby, are feeling it too. When it comes to them, I just don't seem to have enough hours in the day. If I could I would stay up till all hours just to be with them, but my little guys at school notice when I think things are a little too funny when they probably shouldn't be. Funny story. Its about that time, so I need to be crashing. So, if you happen to check out the blog, drop me a note!

Birthday Cake!

For my birthday this year I decided to get an ice cream cake. I had never had one, mostly because my birthday is January. But this year I made a stand and defied the cold. The top picture is the guys trying to figure out just what to do. I wanted to blow out candles, and we all know birthday girls get whatever they want. Unfortunately we didn't have any, so the next picture shows what we used instead, matches. Brilliant. It was quite the adventure trying to light them all quickly enough for me to blow them out without them totally melting my cake. I loved it. The cake, on the other hand, was a let down.

I had a small party for my 22nd. My sister Amy(in tan), her roommate Melissa,(in black), Kyle, Kyle and Jess all came over to have some food and play guitar hero. It was really entertaining. Of course, I played horribly and they both picked it up amazingly well for their first time. It was a lot of fun and even Ruby seemed to enjoy the company.

Kyle's Big Surprise!

Happy Birthday to me! If you know Kyle, you know he loves surprises. I, on the other hand, get very anxious when I know a surprise is coming. I spend so much time trying to figure out what the surprise is and how exactly it is going to effect me, I can never just enjoy it. Well, this time was a little different. Kyle wouldn't tell me anything significant except that it was big. So of course I was excited.

I had recently found myself unable to workout in the workout room at my cafe that is there for the residents of the surrounding apartments. If you know anything about my schedule this semester, you'll understand why it was perfect for me just to workout after work and not have to add going somewhere to my already packed schedule. So I started shopping around to buy an elliptical for myself. I figured having my own would be worth just the anxiety of trying to workout at the rec or some place else. That's where Kyle's surprise comes in. My awesome BF took it upon himself to get me my very own Elliptical for my birthday. Of course some people may say that this is a horrible present to get your already extremely self-conscience girlfriend, but obviously you don't know me very well. I could not have asked for a more perfect gift. I enjoy working out, I want to workout. And in the end hopefully it will give me a little needed boost of confidence. So calm down everyone, I love the present. And I am very much enjoying it. The pictures are Kyle and Kyle assembling it in my livingroom. It took them over 2 1/2 hours while I waited with Jess in my room. You guys are awesome!