Today is my very last day as a student teacher. I am filled with many emotions. I am so happy to be done, I want to laugh. I am also sad to leave teaching behind. I have enjoyed it immensly. Teaching is something I always wanted to do but hadn't really experienced yet. I received great joy from teaching as well as frustration. But I can say with certainty, besides being a mom, this really is what I want to do when I grow up.
With the end of teaching comes thinking of the future. I feel confident in the direction I have chosen, but that doesn't mean I'm any less scared. My graduation is in two days. I will be finished with college. I can remember graduating high school and the anxiety that came when I thought about going to college. Being finished with college was the last thing on my mind. But now I'm here and I feel slightly emotionally unprepared.
After graduation, for the month of May, I have no idea what I am going to do. I will be a Special Education k-6 teacher. I could possibly substitute teach, since most schools will still be in session. But I honestly want to just lay low for a while. It may be irresponsible not to have a job but I feel like I have run long enough, I can take a little bit of time to catch my breath.
After May I would like to Nanny or in the least just find a job. At the end of the summer my lease will run up and I will once again be moving home. From home I will leave to go on a mission. I am excited about a mission and excited for the experiences I will have. I feel happy for seemingly having plans and aspirations. The only thing holding me back right now is my sorrow at leaving my best friend. I am filled with this inner voice that keeps telling me that my time is running out. It whispers to me to soak it all up, remember every happy moment, use my time wisely. It should be a blissful summer, but that will make the going even harder, and I'll miss him. But life goes on, things change. I have more adventure waiting just around the corner.
Thanks family and friends that supported me as I made it through those four years of college. Of course, I have graduated quite yet. :)
a little bit of my everyday randomness.
